My Heaven

       I bet we all have our thoughts about life after death...if your like me, you have them EVERYDAY, now don't get me, wrong I'm NOT suicidal or anything. I love life and I've very appreciate of my blessings and my shortcomings. I just like to reassure myself that tomorrow is never promised, and when my day comes I won't be scared. I picture "My Heaven" to be the most serene and majestic place I've ever seen, and ill know where I'm at because I've been there. I'd have the most amazing memories there, with my family and loved ones. Of course my dogs I've lost before will be there, my family, the family I've yet to have and friends I've yet to meet. I will occasionally come back and let my presence be known, but you'll know its me, when a random memory of us comes along, or you hear a song you might have heard me sing. I'd like to come back as Rainbows just because of my optimistic outlook on life and how I always see the rainbow at the end of every storm. I don't know what inspired me to write this maybe the movie? But if ever I touched YOUR life, and I can leave a "physical thank you" for letting me be part of a memory, part of laughter or a smile on your face.

And if ever I caused hurt,pain or any insecurity I apologize I know not to hold grudges so I carry no burden.<3

:( Missing Home...

      So a couple days ago it was my mommas birthday(Sept 19th 2011) and I wish I was there to celebrate her birthday with her...There is so much about home I miss, especially when things here get so hard.

I understand that this is a learning experience and being on our own is only going to make us stronger. I  sometimes just don't understand why we are being tested so "often". :( I mean it's like as soon as we're comfortable BAM something strikes.

     I know life would be boring if we were always comfortable, but we cant wait till life starts throwing the "Fun" or "Good" curve balls at us, for now it seems to just keep being more like a "Hit and Miss".  I just hope things get better so we can go back home to be with our family. We feel like we're missing out on so much back home that we just wish we can just drop everything and go home.

Personally I'm a little upset at the fact that NONE of MY family have come to visit me :( I feel like i am being judged for my decision for coming out here, I can feel the comments, the whispers and negativity and I'm hurt, i feel alone...

My mother calls me EVERYDAY, she's the only piece of home I really have, I love her so much for doing that for me, it means the world to me....

When I talk to the rest of my family and express how much I miss them, I get the "well, you made that decision you live with it" response and it kills me. I wanna know that I'm missed as well.

Maybe I'm just being a baby, Gio tells me I need to "man up" (lol) he wants me to be strong. He's my rock and he keeps me from falling apart. My Mom also tells me "Its when they STOP talking about you, that you should worry" but unfortunately lately I do care what people think and say about me :(. I'm not a bad person, I just want that recognized....Maybe I'm asking for too much, but for now I'm just venting.

                                          

My life is blossoming in the most amazing way!

Wow its been a while since I've blogged, but today is the 9th of August of 2011.
At this point I love life and EVERYTHING it brings. From its trails and tribulation to its greatest blessings and joyful moments.

Life as independent "young adults" has been VERY challenging, we struggle here and there but we are overcoming many obstacles. we recently started going back to school. we are going to be Phlebotomist I'm so excited!.I miss the experience itself of going to school, the homework, the note taking the test!.Everything is falling into place for us.I am a very spiritual and i pray constantly when i know things are getting too hard for us. My life has its ups and downs but i wouldn't ask for anything other then the one I've been blessed with<3.

"For You Mommy"

"Super Mom"

Mom, you're a wonderful mother,
So gentle, yet so strong.
The many ways you show you care
Always make me feel I belong.

You're patient when I'm foolish;
You give guidance when I ask;
It seems you can do most anything;
You're the master of every task.

You're a dependable source of comfort;
You're my cushion when I fall.
You help in times of trouble;
You support me whenever I call.

I love you more than you know;
You have my total respect.
If I had my choice of mothers,
You'd be the one I'd select!

By Joanna Fuchs

"Mother Daughter Relationships"

Mother and daughter relationships are complex because the daughter looks to her mother as a role model of what a woman is. As she grows up and sees other woman who live their lives differently, she chooses between imitating her mother or other significant influences in her life. As an adolescent she may come to look down on her mother and think that other woman are much better. Of course she is not a fully grown woman so she does not understand the challenges and choices that her mother faces. It is only when she herself becomes a woman that she can fully appreciate her mother.

"Giovani"

So 6 years ago I had a mad crush on Giovani. little did I know I'd be falling in love with my soon to be best friend.I knew nothing about this guy.who he was where he came from or what he'd,done, I didn't care.I fell in love with the boy he was and the man he came to be<3. I thought it would just be a h.s fling but we've grown up together and experienced the best of times and the worst of times TOGETHER and for that I adore him he's the common sense to my stubbornness and I'm the smile to his frown<3. we've seen the beauty this world has to offer and plan to see more of it. I love how we make the most of any situation whether its chillen in the living room with absolutely nothing to do or relaxing on the white sand beaches of Disney private island, we are very blessed for doing the things we've done as a couple.He knows that my family is always there for him whenever he needs anything,simply because he's always been quick to give of himself when needed<3 if anyone has been blessed with this mans presence in life then they'd know what I'm talking about. I Love you baby don't you ever forget that, but damn I continuously trip out on how we got from 14-20 and 16-22? Damn we're getting old lol<3

                                                      

"Just Venting"

Not that he's my heroe, he's definately not a role model and maybe he isnt something i want to tell my kids about but, but im only human and i miss my Daddy sometimes i wish he'd understand that nomatter what i could've said or done for him to have changed his ways back then im grown now and if he should eveer deside to come back into my life, i hope he has an explanation because i've been through alot of shit that i could've had a "decent" fathers advice with.i've been volnurable to boys and had my heart broken a couple times to many. sometimes i like to think that if my dad was around (and different that is) i just might be a little stronger i just might not need a man in my life, that all i'd need is my daddys love but if a girl cant trust her daddy who can she trust? see thats where he fucked up.he didnt realize the impact he'd have on being such an ass to the people who gave him what he NEEDED but instead he left because he didnt get what he WANTED. in the end it all falls together like pieces of a puzzle and what happens happens and like i said he better have an explaination for why he left .......but till then........i miss you dad.

                                                                                                           

"Love"

I am quite a fool for love, in all the groups of friends that I've had in my life, I've always been the hopeless romantic...I love LOVE! I love everything that comes with the title,

there's Way more to love then just hugs and kisses and saying I love you...its SHOWING You love someone.Its understanding that one must make sacrifices for themselves and for the greater good of the one they love. Its having big dreams of how to prove to the world that the one person you love means thee world to you. its having passion for one another not just lust...yearning to see someone to utter the words of "I love you" to not just to that person but that persons eyes so you know they feel what you feel. LOVE is not having to explain what love is because the one who truly loves you needs not explanation, because when its love you just click and everything falls into place like rain drops to the floor<3 love is beautiful. true love makes you feel like your in a fairy tale and every time you touch you lose your breath just a little.

Love is gods way of letting us know he's here...its beautiful its inspiring its the one emotion that reminds us that we are human. it brings the most senile of people together<3 I love, love.

and when I can no longer physically express that emotion I hope that all who I've loved still feel my presence cause its with warm love that express I my presence<3                                               

My Bucket List

1. -skydiving
2. -snorkeling somewhere foreign(check)Cancun and Oahu Hawaii<3
3. -scuba diving
4. -travel to Europe
5. -fall in love,in Venice Italy
6. -climb a crater(check)Oahu Hawaii<3
7. -visit Atlantis in the Bahamas(check)Disney cruise last year 2009<3
8. -go to Puerto Rico. 
9. -go to Disneyland in Bangkok.
10. -para sail (check)Oahu Hawaii
11. -laugh until I cry (accomplished many times<3)
12. -party all night long(literally like from 6pm-6am)
13. -swim through caves in a rain forest(check) Xcaret Cancun
14. -see the Mayan ruin(check) Chi-chen-itza Cancun
15. -taste alligator meat, gross but I'm down.
16. -visit Disney private island(check)
17. -visit pearl harbor(check)Oahu Hawaii
18. -swim with sea lions(check)puerto vallarta Mexico
19. -swim with dolphins
20. -jet ski in the sea of cortez (check) puerto vallarta Mex.
21. -make a difference in a foreign country, I.e feed the homeless, take clothes to needy children<3.
22. -GO TO TAHITI!!!<---must do definitely.
23. -see a black bear up close(check)b.c Canada
24. -visit new york city<3
25. -experience a white Christmas
26. -ride on the polar express<3(check) Sedona Arizona.
27. -visit Juliet's(Juliet Capulet) house in Verona Italy<3
28. -Get a tattoo!(Check) "Sweet Dreams" 01-22-11
29. -Get Married!
30. -visit India
31. -Help someone make a life changing Decision on a positive note!
32. -HAVE A BABY!
33. -HAVE A LIFE CHANGING BONDING EXPERIENCE (With At least 3people)
34. -Go on vacation with 4 of my closest Girlfriends<3

And many more will be added to the list, I'm open to suggestions<3

"My Intro"

So this is my very first "blog". I decided to start something for myself. I figured I needed something to help me vent, and stay connected.My name is Karla, I'm 20 years young. I recently just moved to Utah, along with my boyfriend of 6 years. coming from California, you can imagine it being a major difference to us. so far its pretty calm and we're adjusting. I love it here its gorgeous, the people are so family oriented and seem to be centred around their family morals and values. I hope for this experience to be a foundation for us to grow on as a couple and as individuals gaining Independence. I hope to eventually move back to Cali to be with my family, I miss them everyday like crazy but hope to have them come visit soon. I have a random mind and tend to jump to random subjects. I can talk/write for hours on end and sometimes need to be told to "SHUT UP" lol. so expect random subjects :).