My Heaven

       I bet we all have our thoughts about life after death...if your like me, you have them EVERYDAY, now don't get me, wrong I'm NOT suicidal or anything. I love life and I've very appreciate of my blessings and my shortcomings. I just like to reassure myself that tomorrow is never promised, and when my day comes I won't be scared. I picture "My Heaven" to be the most serene and majestic place I've ever seen, and ill know where I'm at because I've been there. I'd have the most amazing memories there, with my family and loved ones. Of course my dogs I've lost before will be there, my family, the family I've yet to have and friends I've yet to meet. I will occasionally come back and let my presence be known, but you'll know its me, when a random memory of us comes along, or you hear a song you might have heard me sing. I'd like to come back as Rainbows just because of my optimistic outlook on life and how I always see the rainbow at the end of every storm. I don't know what inspired me to write this maybe the movie? But if ever I touched YOUR life, and I can leave a "physical thank you" for letting me be part of a memory, part of laughter or a smile on your face.

And if ever I caused hurt,pain or any insecurity I apologize I know not to hold grudges so I carry no burden.<3

"Just Venting"

Not that he's my heroe, he's definately not a role model and maybe he isnt something i want to tell my kids about but, but im only human and i miss my Daddy sometimes i wish he'd understand that nomatter what i could've said or done for him to have changed his ways back then im grown now and if he should eveer deside to come back into my life, i hope he has an explanation because i've been through alot of shit that i could've had a "decent" fathers advice with.i've been volnurable to boys and had my heart broken a couple times to many. sometimes i like to think that if my dad was around (and different that is) i just might be a little stronger i just might not need a man in my life, that all i'd need is my daddys love but if a girl cant trust her daddy who can she trust? see thats where he fucked up.he didnt realize the impact he'd have on being such an ass to the people who gave him what he NEEDED but instead he left because he didnt get what he WANTED. in the end it all falls together like pieces of a puzzle and what happens happens and like i said he better have an explaination for why he left .......but till then........i miss you dad.